8.4.12

For the first time in my life, I celebrated a birthday outside of the States. Away from family and friends. Away from any of my familiar birthday haunts. No throwing myself a prom (age 29). No 1930s speak-easy party (age 30). No group sushi (every year). On my own this time around. Not that 32 is a milestone or anything. And I don’t ever get bummed about getting older. But it would have been nice to have at least one friend to spend the day with.

I did, however, get a record number (for me) of Facebook birthday wishes. Warmed my heart.

Spencer told me I had to go out and do something. He also told me that I had to find myself a birthday present, under 2,000 baht. Something that I don’t need. Something fun. He said I couldn’t get a microwave. He knows me too well.

I tried to look up some spas, either in Songkhla or Hat Yai. I desperately needed a pedicure. Wanted one with the fish that eat the dead skin off your feet. On the internet, I found about fives spas. None of them listed pedicures. It was all massage-this, facial-that. Not what I was looking for. I decided to head in to Hat Yai anyhow. Maybe have a nice lunch and do some shopping. Perhaps catch a movie at Lee Gardens.

I started out at 10am for the wen stop. Only had to wait about 30 minutes before one with double green stripes that wasn’t full came along. The double green would take me the back way to Hat Yai, which means that I would end up at Diana Mall. I had decided that would be my first stop. That is where I had purchased my Converse and hadn’t really had an opportunity to wander around and see what they had going on there.

The first thing I was looking for was the pond with the fish that eat dead skin. In my browsing on the internet for a locale, I found a blog post about it at Diana Mall. However, I had no idea how old the post was. Thought I would cross my fingers and hope for the best. Alas, no fish. But I could get botox on the second floor. Pass.

In addition to The Pizza Company, they also had a Pizza Hut (first one I had seen since being here). Isn’t it funny the places we will eat when in another country? I never eat Pizza Hut back home. Bottom of the barrel pizza. But I decided to make it my birthday lunch. I know, I know. I had planned to go to Big C Extra and have sushi at Fuji, but that would be the only reason for me to go there and I didn’t feel like traveling all that way. Planned to have Shabushi next Friday with Pat anyhow.

Sat down with my book (Angels of Pattaya), ordered a Pepsi and a personal ham and mushroom pizza, and settled in for a relaxing lunch. I read for a while and ate my lunch. When I was actually about to ask for my ticket, my waitress refilled my Pepsi. I would have felt bad leaving with a full drink, so I read for a while longer until I finished it. Paid my check (199 baht) and headed back out in to the mall to explore.

Thus far, nothing had struck my fancy. Lots of the same things over and over. The entire basement floor was cell phone kiosks. Many shoe stores with the same shoes over and over again. Each floor seemed to have a skin treatment clinic. I’m already pretty fair, didn’t need any help from them. There was a GNC. Unfortunately, I was not in the market for muscle milk or protein powder. Plenty of yellow gold jewelry. Don’t wear that. Make-up. Lots and lots and lots of make-up. I haven’t even used my own since I have been here. I can’t imagine putting anything over my poor pores in this heat and humidity. Plenty of clothing and lingerie that doesn’t fit me. * sigh *

I went to the 5th floor to check out the movie theater. The only movie in English was Total Recall. I had no desire to see it and it wasn’t playing until later anyhow. By this time, I was pretty well done with Diana. I also wanted to update my banking passbook (I really know how to have a good time), so I headed out to Kasikorn Bank.

After I was finished there, I grabbed a motorbike to take me to Lee Gardens. The driver was telling me that the floating market was going on that day. I asked him to take me there instead of Lee Gardens. He said it was at night. Oh well. Maybe some other time. At Lee, I headed up to the movie theater, as that was my reason for this stop. Again, only Total Recall and only at 9pm. This is the downside of living in a part of the country that doesn’t have a very large English-speaking population, tourist or not. Very rarely do they have a movie in English and, when they do, it’s a late night show.

I figured I would make the most of my leisurely day and wander around the area, see what I could find. I still had a mission. Birthday present. No microwave. Got it.

I already knew what Lee and Central had to offer from other attempted shopping expeditions (where time constraints were a factor). This time I would just walk up and down the streets and see what there was to see (and buy). Textiles, more gold jewelry, fruit, electronics, children’s clothing, food, cheap toys, household goods (brooms, etc.). All repeated over and over again. 

I found a place selling local (to Thailand) goods, handicrafts and the like. I saw some shoulder bags that I had admired on a previous day. Cotton and tapestry, with embroidery and bead work. I chose one that was black, green, and silver with flowers and elephants. She told me they were usually 190 but they were on sale for 150 (there was, in fact, a sign to that effect). I said I would take the bag and I also went inside to browse the rest of her wares. She spoke excellent English and chatted with me about the items inside. Carved wooden vases, lots of wall hangings and elephant statues made from various materials, bags, clothing. I told her that today I would just take the bag, but I would come back another day to buy gifts for family and friends back home. We said our ‘goodbyes’ and I took my leave.

As I wandered a bit more, I did see a mannequin wearing a dress that I thought might work for me. I asked the shop keeper if she had it in large. She said it was ‘free size’. You just add a belt. A one-piece, collared dress that buttons down the whole front and has three-quarter sleeves. Made from very thin, light, possibly cotton material. I went inside and looked at the different colors and patterns she had. I picked one and asked how much. She said, “Five hundred ninety baht, but for you, five hundred.” I thanked her and also picked out a belt (100 baht). She thanked me profusely for my purchase. We wei-ed each other and I left.

I still didn’t feel that I had satisfied the conditions of the mission (that I chose to accept). My purchases weren’t particularly fun and I wasn’t particularly excited about them (they were things I needed anyhow). Thing is, I typically purchase anything that I feel I might enjoy. I am not in the habit of depriving myself, I just don’t buy a lot of ‘stuff’. Even back home. Therefore, there wasn’t really anything that I had seen in the last two and a half months that I had held off on buying. There just hadn’t been anything in Thailand that I actually wanted. Besides a microwave, which I was specifically banned from purchasing. Or lenses for my camera, which don’t fall under the 2,000 baht mark.

I decided that I had wandered in the sun and heat enough and grabbed a bike to take me to Siam Nakkarin. One final shopping destination and then I would throw in the towel. However, I pretty well knew what to expect from Siam. I had been there on a couple of occasions and knew that it was pretty much like all the other department malls. A couple of floors for food, a floor each for men’s, women’s and children’s clothing and a floor for electronics. Interspersed with small shops selling jewelry, the likes of which you can get anywhere in the world, and also toys and hats and sunglasses, etc. I did treat myself to a bubble tea. Pearly milk tea flavor. It was so good. They are so generous with the tapioca that I ran out of tea before I ran out of pearls. That’s good stuff. And only 50 baht.

By now I was tired and just wanted to head home. I had spent fours hours in Hat Yai. I still planned to get a massage and also wanted to go to the optician. Yes, I actually had mentally penciled in a visit to Top Charoen Optical on my birthday. Why not? I didn’t have anything else especially exciting planned. I wanted to get new lenses in my old frames. They were scratched.

I got a motorbike and asked him to take me to the plaza, not Big C, to get a wen because I knew what it was like trying to get on one at the last big stop on the way out of town. Almost impossible. He headed off that way and then at the fountain circle, he saw one to Songkhla headed the opposite direction. He pointed at it and made a U-turn to catch it. I tried to tell him not to, because we had no way of knowing if it was full or not. He didn’t listen. Got to the stop and he let me off. I paid him 20 (which was more than generous considering he had only gone a couple of blocks and hadn’t taken me where I asked, anyhow). He wanted 50. No way. I explained that he hadn’t gone very far (and the bus was full). I waved him off and said goodbye and went to sit down and wait for another bus. There was a woman sitting there who asked if I was going to Songkhla. I said yes. She said she and her daughter were also. They had been in town for her daughter’s piano lessons. They had been waiting an hour for a wen. Ugh. I think we probably sat there at least another 20 minutes before one (that had room for us) came by. I got in the front and she and her daughter hopped in the back. There was only one other man in the front. The back was now full. The driver kept stopping where people were waiting for a wen to Songkhla and I would scoot over, but no one got on. From what I could tell, they were all with another person or people and there was only the one seat. Lucky me. The gentleman sitting next to me didn’t even ride all the way to Songkhla. Unexpected birthday present. A comfortable, up-front ride home.

I decided to ride a bit farther than usual, get dropped off at Saiburi Soi 11, and walk from there to the optician. Top Charoen Optical is like the Lens Crafters of Thailand. They are all over the place. And I have never seen customers in any of them. The girls were very happy when I walked in. I told them that I needed an eye exam and new lenses for my frames. They gave me the most basic eye exam that I have ever had. There was a machine that I thought was going to be the eye pressure test (that’s what it looked like), but instead there was a picture of a farmhouse and cornfield inside that was blurry, until the machine brought it in to focus for both of my eyes. I don’t know how it knew when it was in focus for me. They didn’t have me tell them when it was no longer blurry. Intuitive machine? After that, eye chart. I read as far as I could without my glasses. Then they put some metal frames on me that they dropped different prescription lenses in to. This would typically be one of those large contraptions that are iconic to the profession where the doctor gradually drops different lenses down and asks “Better or worse?” They dropped two different sets in, I told them which one was better. They told me 1,500 baht and one hour. I went home, relaxed for a bit, put on comfortable clothing for a massage and went back to pick up my glasses. I waited about 10 minutes while they finished up, ‘read’ a magazine in Thai and enjoyed my complimentary orange juice. All three women working there brought me my glasses with new lenses (brilliantly clear!). I was given a new case and cleaning cloth, we wei-ed and thanked each other quite a few times, and then I got a taxi to the temple for a massage.

I asked the driver if he would come back for me in one hour and he said he would.

I could have sworn that when Pat and I went to this temple for massages the first time, they had asked us if we wanted Thai massage or oil massage. This time, I asked for oil massage. She said, “No oil massage, only Thai massage.” Well, I was already there. May as well pay for the torture. I will say this, they are able to feel out what you need worked on. I don’t know how they do it. Last time, I was out of alignment and needed everything put back, which they did. With fervor. This time, I didn’t have any particular complaint, but she could tell, I guess, that I didn’t need much work on my upper body. No semi-blinding skull massages this time. She mostly focused on my lower back and my legs and feet. Much better. Although, she walked on me. Really dug her toes in to the small of my back. I think she was also focusing on circulation. She kept doing long presses on areas until I could feel my pulse in those places. But the foot massage, hand massage and leg rub were all worth it (and I am only mildly sore on my lower back in the aftermath). Still the best deal around at 120 baht an hour.

I finished at 5:30pm and my motorbike was waiting for me. That’s service. He took me home and I went to pay him 30, which is what I paid to go to the temple. He told me, no, 60. Because he essentially took two trips, one to pick me up and the other to bring me home. Oh. I was unaware that I had to pay for both legs of the trip. Paid him anyhow and declined to have him pick me up to go to dinner later.

After a shower and some lounging around time, I put on my new dress and wedge sandals and headed to the street to get a motorbike. Tun and Win were in the office and both of them told me I looked very pretty. My laundry lady was at the end of the soi and also commented on my dress. I guess it was a good purchase. Since I wasn’t in any particular hurry, I decided to forgo the walk to find a bike (which would make me sweaty) and waited for one to come by. Took about 10 minutes and then I was off to the Buzz Stop.

The women of the Buzz Stop are starting to take a shine to me. They greet me less formally and more friendly now. Big, unforced smiles and hellos and sa-wa-dee-kas. The two new girls do still wei me when I arrive, but they are quiet and shy and I think still getting used to so many farang in one place. Swan and Ming are there names. Swan told me she is 21, but she looks about 16, if that. Ming hasn’t had the courage to converse with me yet.

I opted to start with a cider. Wasn’t quite hungry yet. Chatted with Mark for a bit before he left to try and find some Scottish football on telly. After that, George and I enjoyed an evening of conversation, interspersed with women’s trampoline. I indulged in a lovely burger (no fries) and George bought me a second cider as my birthday drink. I finished up around 10pm and asked Bee to call me a motorbike. He has taken me home before and knew where I wanted to go. He wanted 50 baht for the pleasure. I said 40, since that is what I always pay for the trip in between the Buzz Stop and Greenview. He started talking to Dit and Bee and explained that it is very far away. Then he tells them 60 baht. I say, “The price was 50 baht 20 seconds ago!” I agree to 50 and he takes me home. On the way he tells me “Forty ok this time. But no more.” I gave him 50 just so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. I honestly don’t mind paying more every now and then, but it has a lot to do with their attitude. I have voluntarily paid more for services if the person is friendly and doesn’t have this ‘you are white so you pay more’ attitude. I won’t be having Bee call me a motorbike anymore.

In summation, I wanted to get a pedicure, oil massage, sushi and go to a movie for my birthday. Instead, I gained a thorough knowledge of the shopping malls, a walking self-tour of downtown Hat Yai, a new purse, dress and belt, clearer vision, improved circulation and a renewed appreciation of people who treat me with the same courtesy and respect that I show to them.

I still don’t have a microwave.